We were thinking today about roles we choose. When we were more rigid, less willing to share the forward time we all had very real jobs. We organized ourselves in that way and it allowed us to be successful in the outside world. All of those who spent significant time forward or were even aware of what happened forward had responsibilities. We were not really aware that there was room for people to expand beyond their roles and take a more active part in creating a life that they could enjoy as individuals. Some of us looked at some members of our family as being tools to accomplish tasks, not as fully feeling people. Learning to actually share how we feel has made it obvious to everyone how ridiculous that was.
The changes in how we relate have been disruptive, but we are starting to relax and see it will just take some time to develop new ways of keeping everything in order. The people who have had the hardest time with these changes are the ones whose job included protecting or maintaining the health of the system. To each of them this has seemed like a life threatening disruption at one time or another.
I see other groups in these rooms using task based labels to describe their members just as we are learning not to.� I am very new at interacting with other multiple systems, really just the last two weeks. I am surprised at the common language, but am noticing that the words may not mean the same things to all of us. I was reading today about a groupapos;s protector. The post inferred that a protector was a dangerous bad thing. In our interaction with the one Outside control there was a taste of that as well. Almost a fear of one of us. I think perhaps it is a semantic difference.
Those who we would describe as fulfilling that role trade some, but really they are the strongest, and healthiest of us, or at least those most willing and best equipped for dealing with those outside of us. They need to be smart, have experience dealing with the world, have practical skills like driving, maintaining schedules. They need to be able to triage, decide when a situation is actually dangerous and when it is merely frightening, they need to keep an eye out for internal troubles, and especially now as we have some of the less aware individuals moving up, they need to protect us and them at the same time.
I�believe as an individual that my goal is to be part of the group that protects and keeps us safe even though that has not been a part of my role in the past. I see the others stepping up to that role as well, and those who have always protected have been asked to step back a little for awhile, care for interior spaces and needs and rest for awhile. They have been working hardest of all of us out of genuine concern for our health and well being. They act out of love not anger.
In the posts we read outside people seem to think a protector is a bad thing. To us an out of control angry member would be considered more of a child, not a "protector" no matter what age they present as. The rest would need to watch out for them and make sure they stayed safe, and override activities that would be dangerous to the body or system. Just as we all step back to allow a more qualified member up when that personapos;s skill set is needed whether it is physical self defense, fixing the computer or Spanish, we would step up if someone was intentionally or unintentionally risking harm. .� For us, a protector means a person who goes above and beyond the normal call of duty to care for us and keep us safe, regardless of what else they do in our system.
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